Poor Men Summon Demons
by Little A Granger
Summary: Awkwardly, the Blitzkrieg Boys are abit short on funds, so for a few pennies, they sleep in a graveyard with scientists observing them as they perform rituals. [A pure comical fic for Halloween].
1. Demon 1

**.Poor Men Summon Demons.**

 **Featuring:  
Tyson, Kai, Spencer, Bryan, Tala and Ian.**

His face paled at the sight of his bank account that glowed on his phone. His loan for his new car was due out soon in a few days and Tala gulped at the thought of not having the funds to pay towards it.

However, the sound of the front door caught Tala's attention. He peeked out of the kitchen and then caught a glimpse of Kai dropping his luggage down onto the corridor ground. The Russian looked tired and slightly jet lagged, but that didn't mean that Kai wasn't in a bad mood.

Hmmm.

The Blitzkrieg leader stepped back into the kitchen and picked up his cup of tea to blend in with the scene. He acted as if he didn't even notice that Kai had arrived yet, so when the Hiwatari did appear on the scene, it was casual.

"Back so soon?" Mocked Tala. He sipped his tea and then strategically studied Kai's reaction. "Has the responsibility of being a team captain caved in on you?"

After invading the fridge to help himself to Spencer's fruit juice, the Dranzer wielder shot Tala a blunt stare. "You look like you've just been rejected. What do you want?" He fired back without a hint of mercy lingering in his tone.

A forced smile cracked onto Tala's mouth. He wanted to give the spoilt brat a piece of his mind, but Tala needed to kiss his ass for the sake of his bank account. The leader sipped his tea once again and then placed the cup onto the kitchen counter.

"As much as it pains me to say it, but I need to borrow some money from you Kai." Confessed Tala, "I need to pay my car loan."

For a brief moment, an awkward silence brewed between the two men. Tala was on the verge of curling up into a ball, yet Kai just arrogantly prepared himself a glass of apple juice. He acted like he didn't even acknowledge the question.

"Well!?" Tala's pride ran out of patients. "Will you borrow me it or not?!"

"No." Kai answered without hesitation, "I have my own bills to pay for."

Tala's jaw flew towards the floor and his eyes followed Kai out of the room. "He's such a bitch." He groaned under his breath and then slapped his forehead.

' _I am such an idiot for asking him! Perhaps Bryan will have some money stashed away somewhere.'~_

With that thought fresh in his head, Tala acted quickly upon it. He rushed around the apartment to search for Bryan. He wasn't in his room, nor was he in the lounge, then that must mean that he is busy in one other place – the bathroom.

A hint of shame flooded through Tala's figure as he tapped his hand against the locked bathroom door. "Bryan, are you in there?" He interrogated with his eyes closed tightly.

"Maybe." A voice spoke from the otherside, "If you want the toilet, you might wanna come back in about 20 minutes."

"Urgh, I don't need the toilet Bryan." Huffed Tala with a shade of pink filling those pale cheeks, "I some money-"

"I can't believe you are asking me this right now." Bryan stated, "I don't have any. But I do have something hilarious to show you. I will forward it to you now on messenger. Have a look at it."

Tala's phone then vibrated in his rear end pocket. He pulled the gadget into his view and read the message: _'For a few hundred, scientists will pay you to sleep in a graveyard for a night.'_

"Have you read it Tala?" The voice asked from in the bathroom, "Can you imagine how hilarious that would be if us lot went?"

The Valkov opened up the link and read it in more detail. "Pft. I bet."

* * *

With his passport in his hand, Tala gazed upon his boarding pass and sighed at the location he was flying too – Romania. This wasn't going to be a long flight, but it still wasn't something that Tala had wanted to do. After all, he just wanted to ensure that his car would remain in his name.

He dreaded the thought of the press gaining this information – Takao Aoki [God] knows what headlines the journalists would publicize.

' _Valkov is penniless.'_

' _Skint like the wolf.'_

' _Wolborg for sale!'_

The headlines would be savage but endless. However, as he made it through customs and waited in the lounge area for time to tick by, Tala couldn't stop staring at his mobile phone. He wanted his teammates to contact him, but his pride was too strong to beg them to tag along.

"HEY TALA!" A loud mouth from afar caught his attention. "Fancy seeing you here!"

He raised his ice blue eyes to see Tyson, Kai and his teammates approaching him. It was such a strange sight, especially as Tala couldn't help but think: 'This looks like a wonky heroic montage. Bryan looks stoned, but Kai appears smug.'

"What are you guys doing here?" Tala asked with his hand clenched onto his suitcase, "I wanted to do this on my own!"

A smirk filled Bryan's face and he stepped forward to look his captain square in the face. "We are coming with you – the scientists you contacted, got in touch with us and invited us all to tag along. Pft, did you really think we were going to miss the opportunity of watching you shit your pants? Tala, you don't do well with your own demons, never mind a few spooky cold breezes." He explained with his eyes glowing with excitement.

A stubborn groan cooed from Tala's throat. "If you must. But did you really have to invite Tyson and Kai?!" He barked. The red haired Russian peeked past his teammate to see the two Bladebreaker's arrogantly smirking.

"I need a few pennies too Tala." Tyson stuck up his thumb, "You're not the only one who is skint."

' _How the fuck does a world champion become skint so quickly? He has so many sponsors, not to mention he gets a six digit contract for every season.'_ Tala thought to himself with a squint fixated on his face. _'Fuck him and fuck Kai too.'_

"So we are going to Romania. I wonder if the scientists will let us explore the country before they dump us into that haunted cemetery." Spencer thought aloud, "You do know that where we are going is supposed to have Vlad the Impaler buried there, right?"

"Who?" Bryan shrugged carelessly, "Spencer, relax. Nobody will be impaling anyone on the night that we arrive."

"For goodness sake." Hissed Spencer with an eye roll. "Did any of you read over the brief before you agreed to take up this opportunity?"

"NOPE!" Everyone said in time.

"If anyone comes near us in the night. I will impale them with my gun-"

"Shut up Ian." Tala snarled, "You'll be the first one to scream if anything comes near our tent in the night."

* * *

"Okay, before you guys head into the graveyard to perform you must be blessed by some Christian Priest's." The lead scientist explained as he placed his hand onto the robed gentlemens back. "As scientists, we also want to see if religion and witchcraft are related in one way or another."

"Perform, eh?" Bryan giggled under his breath, "It almost sounds like they are filming a pornographic film-"

"Shut up." Tyson snapped, "I really don't want to be filmed, do we have to?"

The scientist explained, "It's to help us collect evidence. I'm sorry Mr Granger, but we did explain that to you in the contract you signed."

The Valkov rolled his eyes and spun his figure around to briefly glance at his teammates. "They cannot be serious. He's going to pour some water on my pyjamas." He whinged under his breath.

Suddenly Tala regretted the idea of turning up to the investigation in just his bed wear. But in his mind, he just came here to perform a few rituals, go to sleep and then fuck off back home. It was a normal evening for the Blitzkrieg Boys in his view – unpredictable shit and then head off to bed.

Bryan's eyes welled up with tears of amusement, "I wonder who's gonna burn first." He then took a deep breath to swallow his laughter because he didn't want to miss a single comment or small gesture.

"I know this might sound disrespectful. But I'm not having that sprayed on me, it's against my beliefs." The champion raised his hands to brush off the opportunity, "I'm willing to head to the tent without your 'God's' protection, thanks."

Spencer respectfully nodded to Tyson, he studied the rival as picked up his gear and then stepped away from queue that had now formed in front of the Priest.

"You have to tilt your hat at the Granger for that brave move. I now deem him to be the bait for the devil, incase he does show up." Spencer sniggered, making the Hiwatari in front of him chuckle. "I hope you didn't value him too much on your team, Kai."

"He's more valuable than you at times Spencer." Kai stepped up first to be sprayed by the priest. "So yes, I will have to save his ass if he gets into trouble."

The priest bowed his head to the Hiwatari and he then performed the blessing ritual. But once the sacred water came into contact with Kai's figure, the most shocking sight happened. The water did not soak into his clothes, instead, it immediately transformed into steam and evaporated into thin air.

The remainder of the Blitzkrieg Boy's team just gaped at him.

"And there we have it. The devil himself." Bryan whispered to Spencer, "Lets sacrifice something pure before his armies in the graveyard rise up and kill us all."

"If that's the case, you're going to be at the top of the list-"

"Along with Brooklyn by any chance?" Bryan winked at Kai's gaped face, "Bless me next priest. I wanna see what happens to me."

Now that they were all blessed, the scientists then lead the bladers through the graveyard. It was silent and eary with the odd crow croaking in the distance. But nobody really took any notice of their spooky surroundings until they arrived at their accommodation – an oversized tent.

"There better not be a grave underneath our tent." A sweat drop formed in the corner of Kai's forehead. "This is so stupid."

"You will be staying here for the night. The cameras are already installed, so please make yourselves at home-"

"Er, excuse me. But where are the toilets?" Interrupted Spencer, "None of us are quite fond of using the open space to take a dump."

Bryan howled with laughter once again. He arched himself over and placed his hands onto his knees. "This trip is going to be absolutely amazing. I can feel it already." He muttered in-between his contagious laughs.

"I'm afraid that was explain in the contract too. I'm sorry Spencer. There are some woods nearby." The scientist then bowed his head, "I'll leave you all to get comfortable. Please don't hesitate to contact us with your walkie talkies if needs be."

"There better be some hazel trees nearby." Tyson swallowed hard, "Hiro taught me that they're the best leaves to use when nature calls."

Tala cupped his hands over his face, yet Spencer chuckled at Tyson's comment.

However, with that said, the scientist disappeared and left the boys to make themselves at home. They all did their own thing until the nightfall rolled around. By 1am, they were requested to perform their summoning.

"We need someone to take one for the team and sacrifice some of their blood-"

"I vote Tala." Bryan interrupted Spencer who was reading the spiritual book. "Only because I think virgin blood will benefit the ritual greatly."

A heavy sigh left Kai's throat and he lowered his head. He had the expression of 'here we go again' written all over his pale face.

"You're sick." The Valkov snapped at his best friend with a scowl, "Then again, I am surprised you don't want to share some of your STI fueled blood to the spirits that we are trying to contact. After all, isn't your phrase - 'sharing is caring.'"

"Phrase? It's my slogan to deal with everything in life." Bryan nudged Tala and then flashed Spencer a smirk, "Who's got a pen knife then?"

Shocked at the fearless team member, Spencer pulled on the chains attached to his trousers to reveal a keyring that had so many items dangling amongst it. "I have a pen knife, but I am only going to hand it over to you, if you promise to not get too excited about it again?" He spoke in a stern fatherly tone.

"What the hell-" Tyson didn't know where to put his face as he shuffled uncomfortably. "Why would you get excited about holding a penknife?"

"Because Bryan gets a little addicted to pain." Spencer replied to Tyson and then turned his attention over to Bryan, "I didn't hear you promise me."

"Fine. I promise. Now give me the knife already." Bryan's rotated the penknife and flicked the blade free from its case. "Okay, what do I do once I have slit my finger?"

"You're not slitting anything until you have at least sanitised the area first." The blond Russian then pulled out a small bottle of sanitizer from his fanny pack in his lap, he then rubbed some of the moisture onto his teammates hand. "Hold still."

"Oh man, he even has a first aid kit in there." Ian sniggered, he leaned over to get a closer look inside the crotch bag, "I can see why Tala keeps you around now. You even have pain killers."

Before Spencer could retaliate to the small fry of the group, their leader piped up.

Tala folded his arms and closed his eyes, "Spencer. What is the purpose of this ritual? I mean, I'm not about to sign myself up to become the Illuminati's new bitch, am I?"

"Not yet." Spencer soon forgot about Ian once Tala had distracted him. Instead he switched off all the torches in the tent to ensure the only light source in the tent was the candle. "Bryan is going to summon a demon."

That phrase then finally caught Kai's attention. He shot Bryan a level gaze and grinned deviously. "Is he now?" Secretly, the Hiwatari couldn't wait to see how this scenario was going to pan out. After all, the Blitzkrieg Boys had seen many demons in their lifetime, but just who was Bryan going to 'summon?'

Now that his finger had been cleaned, Bryan watched Spencer light a candle. Afterwards he placed it onto a satanic pentagram that was sitting at the centre of their circle.

Tyson was squirming uncomfortably, meanwhile Tala was refusing to open his eyes to witness this stupid act. In all honesty, Tala just couldn't wait to collect his dosh and then fuck off back home. He'd had enough of this stupid camping trip.

"Once you have cut your finger, you need to say the following: 'Oh, with this blood offering I summon the demon, Čert. I call to you rise from hell so mote it be!' You only say this phrase the once and then extinguish the candle with your blood." Spencer enthusiastically added a deep voice to encourage Bryan to go all out in the moment, "Make sure your speech is clear and don't hesitate."

"Is that all I have to do for a few quid?" Bryan leaned over the candle and then positioned the pen knife over his finger, "Ready?"

"Hurry up." Tala hissed, "I want to go to the nearby chip shop and get something to eat." He clearly is hangry.

Even though the comment was super inappropriate, Kai couldn't help but twist his lips with amusement at Tala's coldness. Bryan chuckled under his breath, meanwhile Tyson and Ian just burst out laughing.

"Guys, please be quiet. You're distracting Bryan. He's going to forget what he has to say in a minute-" Spencer had spoken too soon becauseBryan did just that. So again, Spencer reiterated the phrase. "Urgh, you have to say - Oh, with this blood offering I summon the demon, Čert. I call to you rise from hell so mote it be!' Now please, let's do this right."

"Yea, come on. I want some cod and chips too."

"I will do you." Tala barked at Tyson's daft comment. His eyes flung wide open to reveal a piercing glare, "Shut up and lets get this over with."

Nobody clearly gave any thought to the type of demon that they were about to summon. Čert is the most bad ass demon of all Satan's minions. In Ukraine, this demon was well known for being the most evil creature to ever exist in mythology.

' _I can't believe that have allowed us to do this. Of all the people.'_ Kai thought to himself. _'_ _The candle will probably burn out itself if these morons don't hurry up.'_

"I love the licorice scent." Ian leaned in to take an inhale of the candle. "It reminds me of Spencer's sweets he eats at home, you know, the ones which Kai steals and then pigs out on in private."

Bored with hearing his teammates bitch at one another, Bryan sliced his thumb and then aimed his wound over the burning candle. He balled out the phrase in a thick tone and he squeezed his finger to spare a few drops of his blood to extinguish the black candle.

With the ritual performed successfully, everyone went into stand by stance. But after a minute or two of being in the silence and darkness, Tala finally let out a heavy sigh of disappointment. He reached out his right across the tent ground search for the flash light that Spencer had switched off.

Bryan licked his wound, meanwhile Tyson was shifting towards Kai for a hint of security. However, when Tyson came into contact with his captain, he awkwardly cleared his throat and edged away from Kai's toned arm.

"Sorry. I-" The words in Tyson's mouth froze when he noticed something peculiar about Kai's arm. He felt a little more tenser than usual, and his skin was as cold as ice. Naturally, Tyson voiced his concern, "Kai, are you cold?"

"Hum?" Was all Kai responded.

"Well, I just felt your arm and it was as cold as ice." Tyson's voice faded when a woft of bad breath brushed past his nose. He then balled, "Jeez man! Kai! What is with you!?"

Bryan, Ian and Spencer were now sniggering at this point.

"Tyson, you're not funny. I am wearing a hoodie." Kai explained with his heart beat picking up. "You didn't touch me-"

"Your breath is so bad that it could kill someone. Did you forget to brush your teeth?" The Granger felt his innocent eyes widen when he finally registered what Kai had said. "I didn't touch you? Then, who is sat, in between us?"

"Bryan, you're not funny." Snarled Kai. He reached out his hand to latch onto the figure sat between them."Piss off back over to Tala's side of the tent."

The raven haired Russian then shoved the figure across the tent and then rolled his eyes.

"Kai." Bryan's voice suddenly sounded concerned, "I haven't moved from the near the candle, and who is touching my foot!?"

"That's me." Tala slammed his fist against Bryan's shoe and smirked delightfully, "I am looking for the flash light."

"AH!" Winced Bryan in pain, "You're such a dickhead sometimes."

"Then who was it?!" Tyson squeaked with his body trembling, "Because it seriously isn't funny anymore."

"It wasn't any of us. We haven't moved!" Ian retorted. "Now shut up and keep your bad breath to yourself."

"Hang on. Kai-" Spencer's shaky tone immediately caught everyone's attention and the comical tension in the environment instantly died down. "I think you have just shoved the demon out the tent. I felt a cold and broad figure pass me."

Bryan then howled with laughter, but Kai's heart stopped for a brief moment.

"I did what?" Blinked the Hiwatari. He was still convinced that it was Bryan. "Pft. Prove it."

"Okay. I found the light." Tala switched on the gadget and then shed some light on the scene. "See, there's no demon in here. Your ritual did jack shit. So lets go get something to eat."

Even though there was nothing visibly spooky, Tyson still wasn't satisfied with the result. He then daringly peeked out of the tent to find just exactly what he'd been expected to see. A tall shadowed demon with ram horns sticking out his head – it was slithering through the graveyard and heading off into the distance.

'Wow, did Kai hurt him? Ha, I know how that feels. I mean, I have been bitch slapped by Kai a few times. Wait, a second, I can see this demon and I am taking this a bit too well for my own liking. Hm.' Tyson nodded in agreement to his own thought.

A split second later, he released a loud scream and prepared his launcher. "The fucking monster is leaving the graveyard! WHAT THE HELL!"

Bryan then stopped laughing and Tala slapped his forehead.

"Stop being stupid Tyson. Even if we did summon a mythical demon, that thing wouldn't get far with Bryan's blood." Mocked the Wolborg leader, "Now, what do we have to do now?"

Spencer shrugged, "Sleep in the graveyard. By the time we get up, we should be getting paid our money."

Once again, nobody was interested in the demon, not even Kai, and he'd touched the creature.

"Well, I am going out after it." Tyson rose up like the champion he was, "I'm going to stop it."

"Go on then. Watch one of the dead don't grab a hold of your ankle as you run across the graveyard." Bryan teased deviously, "They will drag you and that unrealistic thing into the ground. By the way, we aren't going out there after you."

"Too right." Spencer nodded, "I am not going outside in that setting. Weare due some hail soon."

"Urgh!" Tyson sulked, "I guess he's the Dark Bladers problem now, huh?"

He accepteddefeat; Tyson surrendered to the others and sat back down. "What now? Bed time?"

Bryan nodded, "I suppose so. I mean, we don't have to do anything else to do."

* * *

Three days after the incident~

The Blitzkrieg Boys and Tyson were sat in the apartment's lounge with an individual drink in their hand. They all appeared over tired from all the rushing around they'd done in the past few days, but they were all clearly pleased to back in a safe environment.

Tala gazed up from his mobile phone to see the news flash brightly on the television before them. "Turn it up Spencer." He ordered, keen to hear what is happening in their world.

' _Breaking news, a legendary demonic bit-beast has been found dead in the woods nearby an ancient cemetery. Scientists and archaeologists are yet to discover the cause of this unexpected tragedy.'_

"Well, you better get yourself checked out." Tala shrugged at the news station, "That beast caught something from your slutty ass and it died."

"The monster didn't even make it a mile away from the cemetery where we camped. He was either really weak, or your blood was heavily contaminated." Spencer wriggled his eyebrows, "I dread to think of which theory is true."

"That thing was a bit-beast!?" Bryan tossed his magazine and huffed impatiently, he sat up straight on the sofa. "Damn it. If I'd have known that, then I would have caught the thing in a Beyblade. I bet it would have taken down Boris' Black Dranzer."

"Is he for real?" Ian jumped when the magazine landed on his face. He snatched it and then slammed it into the teammate whom was sat beside him [Bryan]. "This isn't fucking Pokemon Bryan. We are Beyblade."

The blond Russian rolled his eyes, "So, it turns out that Tyson was telling the truth when he said that he'd seen the demon. Oh well." He picked up the remote and then changed the channel. "Let's see if we can find a program about painting and decorating to inspire us about doing up this shit hole."

Tala snorted, "You're on your own with that one."

* * *

 **A/N: Ten pages later. 4.1k in words. Madonna on repeat. This baby was born. :D I hope you all had a giggle or two out of it – Granger~**

 **P.S: Thank you to my wonderful girlfriend for the inspiration line for Bryan: 'And there we have it. The devil himself." Bryan whispered to Spencer, "Lets sacrifice something pure before his armies in the graveyard rise up and kill us all.'**


	2. Demon 2

Poor Bladers Summon Demons  
A Spin-Off.

"Er, guys." Ian waved a letter in everyone's face as he entered the kitchen, "We had this in the mail today. They're asking if we want to take part in another demon summoning-"

The proposal was soon snatched from Ian. Bryan, whom was leaning against the counter, extended his arm up into the air to ensure that his petite teammate couldn't retrieve the news. He squinted and then announced out the most important piece of text.

"They're offering us whatever we want. Sign me up." Bryan threw the piece of paper to his captain. "Book me a two way flight to France Tala."

"France?" The red haired Russian nodded negatively and sipped his glass of orange juice. "I'm not going to be a puppet for the media. They can kiss my ass." With that said, Tala then left the room without even taking a peek at the offer.

"Wait, he has to come." Gaped Ian. He ran out after his captain. "Just think of how much fun it can be! Spencer! Tell Tala he has to come to France with us."

* * *

[In The COntractors office]

"We should summon these monsters for the right reason because I do get the feeling that exploiting them could be disastrous." Spencer wriggled his eyebrows at the contract, "But they are offering a bigger pay cheque then the last one we received."

Bryan squiggled his name at the bottom of his contract and then handed Spencer the pen afterwards, "The devil would exploit us too if he was given a bargain. So don't feel bad about it. I mean come on, Satan has sold his soul and switched from team to team a few times." Bryan then nudged his head over to Kai's direction. He was still convinced that the Hiwatari was the devil after his little 'Holy water' performance.

Spencer burst out laughing and Bryan smirked proudly. "He hasn't signed a contract too has he?" Asked the Seaborg wielder.

"Pft, I heard he was the first one to sign it." Bryan then leaned in and lowered his tone, "I heard he is taking the job because he has to pay his teammates compensation for ditching them a few times."

"That sounds about right." Spencer nodded in disappointment, "Fine. I will come along if everyone else is. By the way, do you have a plan to capture this demon we are to summon?"

"Well, Tyson has signed the contract too. So I have a small plan in mind." Answered Bryan, "He loves to be in the spotlight, so if we sit back and encourage Tyson to perform out his 'heroic' deed, we can capture the demon once its weakened and then keep it for ourselves."

Impressed with the plan, Spencer then asked, "Why are you so obsessed with keeping a demon as a pet?"

"I fantasize about walking it around the town on a leash." Joked Bryan, "Plus, I want to shake up those Dark Bladers by showing them a REAL monster. I mean, could you imagine their faces?"

A chuckle fluttered from Spencer's lips, "I'm sure Tala would be up for tormenting those dark bladers too. He hates their guts after they deliberately ambushed our tour around Europe – on a cruise ship. It wouldn't have been so bad if they were decent bladers" He ranted truthfully.

"I know." Agreed Bryan, "I still can't forget how Tala lost his temper that day. He threw one of them overboard because they broke his iPod during a battle."

"Maybe. I wonder why Tyson came back though." Spencer paused when the champion appeared in between them. "Urgh."

"Wow, you guys look like you've been working out." The Granger stuck up his thumb, "I have too if you must know-"

"Just cut to the chase and tell us why you're tagging along." Snarled Tala from the otherside of the office. "I can't stand the idea of us sharing a tent with you Tyson."

"I came back for the same reason you did. To support my teammate." Tyson then slid across the room to stand beside his rival, "I have missed you too Tala-"

"Oh piss off."

Bryan and Spencer then howled with laughter at their captains reaction towards Tyson.

"He still hasn't forgiven him for defeating him in season 1, has he?" Spencer was proud of his stuck up captain, "But I can't blame him."

Tyson shrugged arrogantly and then strolled over to his captain, whom was leaning against the wall. "I knew you'd sign up if I did." He praised, feeling quite excited about this new opportunity for the group.

"Hn."

"Hey! Lets have a quick match before we set off for France!" Called out Tyson, he seemed to be enthusiastic about giving this television audience a show. "Me and Kai vs all of you."

"Hah!" Ian mocked, "I did not see that coming. Don't worry Tyson, you can sit next to YOUR Kai on the flight."

* * *

[In the French Graveyard: Père Lachaise].

"Hey guys. I found a little fact about the graveyard we are staying in: Père Lachaise is home to over one million dead bodies. It obviously is the largest graveyard in the country. But there has been no sighting of demons." Spencer gazed up from his phone to see everyone's reaction, "Until today that is."

Everyone in the tent then paused their activity to stare at Spencer. But they soon lost interest for a while, until Spencer opened up the instructions. He drew up a pentagon on the tent floor with some white felt and placed a candle on each of the points. These candles were to represent the natural elements of fire, wind, earth and water.

"It's time already I see." Bryan shrugged in a cool gesture. He tossed the magazine that he and Tala were sharing across the tent. "Oh, by the way, I am not being the bait for this demon. Someone else is going to have to do it."

"Fine." Tala nodded, "Who fancies being Satans bitch? And no, I am not referring to being Kai's bitch."

The Hiwatari refused to react.

An awkward few twitches jiggled through Ian's figure and he placed his hands near his backside. "Hurry up and let me summon this ugly beast. I need the bathroom. I think our camp fire dinner has given me the shits." He openly admitted with no shame what so ever.

"Oh for Christ sake. Why didn't you go earlier, before it got dark?" Tala hissed at Ian, "You moron."

"Here we go. I knew that was coming." Ian huffed sulkishly, "I didn't need to go then! Besides, I had a heavy meal."

"I don't think ' **Christ** ' is going to save you if Ian shits himself." Bryan howled with laughter and wrapped his arms around his tensing waist. "Anyway, Kai has packed some nice aftershave, we'll spray that if a foul smell flies out of Ian's asshole."

"We aren't paid to advertise that brand of aftershave." Tala insisted. "So cover up the label with your hands before you spray it." He was secretly bitter about the fact that Kai was 'good enough' to advertise Boss and they weren't.

Bryan's laughing fit then grew more aggressive – tears were flooding from his eyes and his ribs were beginning to ache. "I cannot believe how serious you are taking this-" He was interrupted by Tala's words of wisdom [again].

"Kai is paid to advertise that product, not us. So fuck them." Tala then gazed over to Spencer. "Are the instructions in Ancient Greek or something? What is taking us so long to get this going?"

Gob-smacked with their filthy choice of words, Tyson just shuffled uncomfortably over to his captain and stiffened. "And you ditch us for these guys, because?" He simply couldn't resist the bitchy question.

An eyebrow flung up towards Kai's hairline and he unfolded his toned arms. He deliberately refused to respond to his rival and he edged closer towards him to forcefully slam his palm onto Tyson's back.

A light grunt cooed from Tyson's mouth and he straightened himself up to embrace the pain from Kai's rough touch. "What was that all about? Kai?" He asked, curious to know why Kai hadn't yet removed his hand yet.

Spencer breezed through the instructions again and then flashed his teammates a fatherly smirk. "Ian, you need to communicate with Mammon telepathically. Make sure you flash your owl rope bracelet because it demonstrates to the demon that you are trustworthy. But make sure you say these words before you do so." He then handed the script for Ian to read.

" _Lord Satan, by your grace, grant me, I pray thee the power to conceive in my mind and to execute that which I desire to do, the end which I would attain by thy help, O Mighty Satan, the one True God who livest and reignest forever and ever. I entreat thee to inspire Mammon to manifest before me that he/she may give me true and faithful answer, so that I may accomplish my desired end, provided that it is proper to his/her office. This I respectfully and humbly ask in Your Name, Lord Satan, may you deem me worthy, Father."_

A breeze then brushed through the tent to extinguish the candles, but when the darkness swallowed the atmosphere; Kai used this opportunity to punish Tyson for his bitchy comment. He pushed his teammate into the centre of the circle and awaited for the aftermath of his actions.

"KAI!"

"That's my name."

However, luck seemed to shield Tyson once more. As he pushed himself up from the floor, he dodged a light that rose up from the ground beneath them. The green light then struck Ian in the face – sending him flying back across the tent.

"Is he dead?" Bryan blinked in shock. "Virgin boy, go and check on him."

Tala turned on a touch before then sticking up his middle finger to Bryan's face. "If he's dead, you are going to have to build a dwarf sized coffin because I have not organised any funeral plans." With that said, he crawled across the tent to bravely approach his teammate, whom seemed semi-conscious.

"Get up before Kai claims your spot in next years tournament." Tala clearly had ran out of patients at this point. He shone the torch into Ian's face to watch him squint uncomfortably. Ian had no pupils and his fangs were surprisingly sharper than before. "Ian, come on."

"I am not the one you call Ian. I am Mamm-"

Tyson then switched on the battery powered lights so everyone inside the tent could witness the event. Shortly afterwards though, he soon regretted his wise decision because nothing could prepare him for what was to come.

"For fuck sake." Tala huffed under his breath at the demonic voice that was piercing the air within the tent. "We now have Mammon joining the Blitzkrieg Boys."

To resist the urge to laugh loudly, Bryan bit onto his hand and then gazed over to Kai, who looked so chilled in this incidence. Meanwhile Tyson was squirming anxiously, he couldn't believe the lucky escape he'd just had with that near miss.

"I am the demon of greed and I shall watch you suffer my wrath!" The demonic voice continued. "You worthless humans will become my slaves."

"He clearly has no clue who is messing with." Spencer sniggered, "Bryan, how are we going to get this demon out of Ian's body so we can trap it inside the spare blade?"

"Pft, fuck knows." Shrugged Bryan. He placed his hand into his lap. "The demon won't last in that body long because he will soon realise that his host is just an angry midget."

"Maybe, but what if this demon can switch from one human to another?" Tyson announced, bored of listening to the demons little speech. "We are all going to be stuffed if Gammon claims my body."

"Okay, first off. The demon is called Mammon." Tala bitchily corrected, "And secondly, Spencer, stay away from Ian until he's demon free. This demon will have a field day with you as its host."

"Hm." Smirked Spencer. "Talks about pissing on someone's parade."

Kai took a deep breath to hold in his amusement – he secretly found it hysterical to acknowledge Tyson's stunned reaction. But before anyone could come up with a plan to restrain the demon, another miracle danced before their eyes.

A foul smell filled the air and Ian gasped heavily with anticipation. Seconds later, Ian's pupils returned and his body tremble with fright. He was back to normal! But he soon was distracted by the sight of everyone cringing with disgust.

"I'm tingling." Ian blinked blankly at his teammates, whom were staring at him like he was insane. "What happened?"

"You shit yourself and the demon left. That's what happened." Tala sighed in relief, he was pleased to know that his teammate had returned. "Well, I'm disappointed for you Bryan, you didn't get to keep this demon bit-beast either."

Predictably, Bryan couldn't speak right now because he was too busy drowning in his own laughing fit. "He- the demon- it left because- because you shit yourself."

"What?" Gasped Ian with his eyes shooting over to the cameras that surrounded the tent. "Oh no."

"You stink Ian." Waved Tyson as he pinched his nose and crawled across the tent to find the opening. "I'm going outside for some fresh air." He exited the tent.

"Shall we run off before he comes back?" Cooed Bryan, "He'd be another to shit his pants."

"Well, we can't leave Ian to feel humiliated on his own now can we?" Grinned Tala, "What do you have in mind Bryan?"

"We donate him to the dark bladers when Kai isn't looking." Bryan winked at the dual haired Russian, "You better go on out after him."

xXx


	3. Witches

**Poor Bladers Summon Demons  
~Hot Witches~  
Part 1/2  
**

 **Warning: This chapter may appear quite offensive at times, but it's all to be taken light heartedly. This chapter does not represent my own personal views in any way. Anyhow! Enjoy this chapter :) - Granger.**

* * *

"Wow, I can tell that you guys all had a good holiday season." Tyson's eyes gazed at each of the Blitzkrieg Boys as he dropped his bag down onto the ground, beside his plane seat. "How are those ankles keeping Spencer?"

Bryan gaped, yet Tala's lips twisted to suffocate his laugh.

 _Did he really just say that?_ The red haired Russian thought to himself. _Seriously, he's picking a fight with the wrong team. That poor bastard will be diagnosed with bulimia by the end of this trip. Oh well, it won't hurt for Tyson to re-learn his place within our food chain._

"Since when did the Granger get so savage?" Ian asked. He took a seat near the window and then handed Spencer his hand luggage bag, so he could place it into the overhead locker. "You'd think he'd spent his festive season with Kai-"

Bryan's eyes beamed with amusement when he realised that Ian couldn't reach the overhead lockers. But he soon turned his attention back to the irritating sound of Tyson's voice.

"I did actually." Tyson smirked, "He came to the party at the dojo. It was pretty cool, we all had a drink and-"

"That wasn't the party that we turned down was it?" Tala rolled his eyes, "Look, nobody cares Tyson. Just shut up and squeeze your fat ass into a seat on the plane."

"Yea, we will even let you sit next to your hunky **boyfriend**." Winked Bryan. He stepped picked out some snacks from his bag. "Don't worry 'buddy'. I have spared you and Kai three seats for a good reason."

A blush of embarrassment filled Tyson's cheeks. "Wow, no, erm, me and Kai are just teammates. We're not gay, Bryan. Kai is seeing a girl." He stuttered whilst blinking blankly.

"Oh, no. I wasn't referring to it like that." Bryan leaned into Tyson's face and grinned devilishly. "I have saved a seat for Kai, yet the other two are for your round ass."

"Bryan!" Barked Tyson, "You're being such a dick."

"Am I? Am I really?" The silver haired blader shrugged, "I thought I was being a good friend. I want you to have a comfortable journey."

The entire Blitzkrieg Boy team then howled with laughter. But after Tyson crashed down into a seat with a sulky expression filled on his face, Spencer began to take pity on him.

"I bet you wouldn't say that to me in front of Kai-"

"Oh, he would." Spencer corrected Tyson and made everyone around them laugh. "Come on, lets just get to England in one piece."

But just as Tyson glimpsed across the plane to flash Spencer a grateful smile, a familiar figure stumbled onto the plane; he looked ever so rough and hungover.

"Wow, you look edgy. Did Brooklyn get a hold of you again?" Tala opened his bottle of water and then took his seat beside Bryan, "And why are you so late?"

The Hiwatari wiped the lipstick off his face with a piece of tissue. He didn't retaliate to the comment, instead, Kai chose to put his luggage away and then he took a seat beside his teammate, Tyson, whom sat up straight with pride at the thought of having Kai's company.

"Well, Tyson did say that he was seeing a girl-"

"I know what you're thinking." Tala's frosty tone immediately shut down Bryan's little joke. "And before you say it, no, it's not my Mum."

Ian's laugh could be heard from the otherside of the plane. "We all thought it Bryan, but none of us had the balls to say it." He chirped with his figure sliding down the seat.

"Spencer." Tala peeked over to the petite sized blader, "Tighten his seatbelt to the point where the little bastard suffers with piles."

* * *

"Can someone tell me why we are here again."

The same old question was always asked by the same old blader, Mr Valkov. He threw his suitcase into his tent and he stared at Spencer, whom seemed to somehow always know the answer to everything.

"We are raising some money for our unfortunate fans-"

"Raising money for our fans. Pft, that's just blackmail to get us back out here." The red haired Russian huffed, "In fact, the excuse is so good that even Kai couldn't worm his way out of it and that guy can find a loop hole for everything, even the tax man."

Spencer was crying with laughter now. "He avoids the tax man like the plague, don't you Mr Hiwatari?" He laid out his sleeping bag and then sat down to get comfortable.

A little smirk creased into the corners of Kai's mouth. He squinted his panda eyes and he refused to deny the accusation that the Blitzkrieg Boys were throwing onto his name. Instead, Kai just set up his tent quietly.

"How come you came along anyway Kai?" Bryan then blew a bubble with his chewing gum and popped it loudly. "Are you here to take care of your boy- I mean teammate?"

"No, they offered me a cheque which topped everyone elses offer, so I couldn't say no." The Hiwatari clearly was lying, but he refused to decline the perfect opportunity to piss off everyone at the same time. "But unlike you pigs, I am donating it to charity."

"Oh get over yourself." Tala snorted, "You are beginning to sound more human by the day and we don't tolerate that here."

Kai peeked outside of his tent to stick up his middle finger to his ex-teammate. "Fuck you Valkov."

Once the group had prepared their amatuer camp on the Devon moorlands, they decided to 'get in touch' with their temporary habitat by creating a little campfire. Together, they sat around the warmth and shared some stories and gossip.

"It's so beautiful out here." Complimented Tyson, whom just couldn't stop smiling.

He gazed around the green land. He was so impressed, especially as over the hills nearby were gianormous valleys that contained small little streams which danced along effortlessly across the breath-takingly beautiful landscape. The country air purified his lungs and his heart pounded with joy. Tyson had never felt so relaxed.

"I almost don't wanna go home." Tyson added.

"I wouldn't go that far." Bryan soon added in his ten pence to destroy this positive thought. "There is lamb shit everywhere and I heard that people are buried in places like this. Plus, I heard that if you don't get the cream and the jam right on your scone, it can trigger a county war. Seriously, the British are really strange."

"How would you know all this?" Tyson barked, "Have you ever been here before?"

"No, I dated a British girl. She was hot, feisty and strong. But her stuck-up mannerisms were too picky for me, so I did a runner."

Ian placed his hand over his mouth to laugh discretely. Meanwhile Spencer nudged Bryan to discourage him from speaking such scaremongering rumours. However, Tala sniggered with satisfaction at Tyson's now paled face.

The Hiwatari wasn't interested in Bryan's nonsense, he was more irritated by the lack of signal that his mobile phone was receiving. Voltaire was supposed to be sending him some updates about the family business, but this area of the country was so behind in their technological advances that mobile phones had now been branded as 'useless' - there also was no internet too!

"So, why Bideford Spencer?" Tala stretched out his arms like a comfortable dog. "And what are we expecting to summon tonight?"

"Well, Bideford is famous for the witch trials that took place in the 16th century. Basically, a few people were charged with performing the devils magic, so they were executed. There has been sighting of witches walking the moorlands." Spencer answered and opened his fanny pack to pull out some black waxed candles and a small mirror. "I have packed everything that we will need for the ritual."

"Is there anything that he just can't fit in that fanny pack of his?" Bryan blinked. "It always seems to have everything we need."

"Did you just say a 'witch?'" Chuckled Tyson nervously, "I'm not scared. I mean, come on, haven't we pretty much seen it all by now? Demons? Monsters? Ghosts?"

* * *

The evening soon crawled around and the landscape in the distance faded as the suns cheerful rays were drowned out by the empty darkness. Still, nobody seemed unsettled by this change. They even endured an hour of silence between them to mentally prepare themselves for the long night that was ahead of them.

"We need to feed the fire before it burns out and we have ran out of twigs." Ian pointed to the dimmed fire. "Kai, do you fancy lending us your Dranzer?"

"Here." The Wolborg wielder paced out of his tent with a handful of white bed sheets. He was following the New Year tradition of Out with the old and in with the new."We all have our sleeping bags anyways, so we can burn these."

"Oh! Smart move Tala." Spencer praised. "But do remind me as to why you brought them in the first place?"

"I packed them because I thought England would be cold in the winter season, but it's actually quite humid compared to our Russian climate. Also, I am planning on buying some more bed sheets when I get home because I strangely overheard some slag and his one night stand 'borrow' my room three nights ago." Tala shot Bryan a foul glance. "You disgust me!"

"Hey! She refused to fuck me in my room!" Bryan retorted. "Plus, it smelt like a fresh Spring breeze in your room, so I had to compromise."

"And this is why we call Tala the 'woman' of the team." Ian smirked and cupped his hands together on his head, "You'll be an amazing mother one day Tala."

As Tala went to throw the material onto the small fire, a small breeze blew to redirect the bed sheet over his head. Naturally, Tala huffed and squirmed with irritation when he registered the sound of his teammates howling with laughter.

Tyson however wasn't laughing. His eyes widened and he darted over to rescue Tala from the dangerous bedsheet that had almost landed him into the feisty pit. "We cannot let the paparazzi or our fans see any of us doing that, even if it was an accident, we would all lose our careers. I mean, we aren't racist, right Kai?" Tyson smiled as he skimmed his eyes over to Kai briefly.

Kai says nothing. He is too busy concentrating on reading the instructions with Spencer, he is wearing his reading glasses that make his eyes seem rather larger than usual. Even though he was deliberately ignoring his teammate, he should have known that Tyson wasn't the type to surrender so easily.

"I said, right Kai!?"

"Satan doesn't give a fuck about race." Bryan wiped tears of amusement from his eyes. "Kai just hates everyone."

Kai finally raises his head to Bryan and Tyson, again, he says nothing but he does flash them a death glare that read: 'Piss off and leave me out of it.'

"Well, I suppose I should be grateful for that." Tala finally tosses the sheet into the fire and he then gazes around the scene to see what he could use to mess with the fire. Nothing seemed relevant at first, until his frosty eyes locked onto Ian's launcher – a rifle. "He won't care and I'm getting desperate."

"What has race got to do with ghosts?" Question Ian, "Tala's ghost impression with the bed sheet wasn't racist."

"Come and sit next to me Ian." Winked Bryan. He wrapped his arm around Ian's tiny figure and he intimately pulled him closer, "Let uncle Bryan educate you about a little club that started in Tennessee."

Spencer rolled his eyes, "Bryan, how do you think this witch will look?" He quickly changed the subject to spare Ian's innocence. He placed the instructions into Kai's lap so he could finish reading them.

"I dunno, why are you asking me?" Just like Spencer had planned, Bryan was distracted from the delicate subject. "I thought witches were supposed to be scary and ugly. Just like the girls that Tala brings home-"

Tala groaned loudly, "Here we go. Bryan, shut your STI filled mouth before I stick your head into that firepit."

"How can you bring back so many birds and still remain a virgin?" The silver haired Russian refused to drop the joke, "Honestly, you are one picky little fucker. You're more picky than the British, I swear."

"Bryan!" Kai piped up and removed his glasses, "As you're so fond of women, you can summon the witch. Get yourself a mirror, now."

* * *

 **.[That's the end of part 1 ;)].**

 **P.S: Don't dodge the taxman kids, I almost went to jail for it. xD  
True story.**


	4. Witches 2

**Poor Bladers Summon Witches  
Part 2/2**

"I dunno Kai." Spencer placed the candles and mirror into Tala's hands and flashed a reassuring smile. "I think Tala needs some help with the ladies, so I think he should summon the witch."

Bryan's cackled away in the background.

"No, I want to summon a witch, not a pool of Tala's urine." Kai huffs impatiently, "Look, I have got better things to be doing right now, Bryan, summon this freak so I can go home."

"Holy cow, he is over tired." Thought Tyson out loud. "We better summon her quick before Kai kills us all and buries us all here in this moorland."

"Shut up, before I bury you out here-" The Valkov's words silenced at the Kai's fiesty glare.

' _Jeez, he's touchy over his teammate.'_ Tala huffed through his nose and gritted his teeth. _'I bet Tyson suddenly feels untouchable right now.'_

"Come on Tala, just summon the cow so we can go back home." Ian then glanced around to search for his safety net – his gun/launcher. "Where has it gone?"

"Fine! I will summon the witch." Barked Tala. "What do I have to do?"

Once Tyson had lit the candles like Kai had instructed, Spencer handed his captain a mirror and cracked a weak smile.

"They say you should sprinkle salt around the mirror for safety." Spencer placed his hand into his fanny pouch and he pulled out some a small sachet of salt, it was branded with a famous chicken take away – KFC. "Here, a pinch should do it."

Gaped at how much stuff that Spencer has crammed into that small bag, Tala snatched the sachet and he rolled his eyes. "This is ridiculous. You read too much superstition rumours." He carelessly tossed the unopened packet at the mirror. He then stepped his foot onto the salt and smirked cunningly – that felt good!

"I dunno Tala, after seeing the shit that we've unleashed from hell, anything is possible at this point." Ian smirked, "Hey, maybe the witch will be quite the catch for your beyblade."

"Say bloody Mary into the mirror three times." Kai deliberately spoke over Ian to cut the conversation short. "And don't hesitate when you do it either."

Fed up with the Hiwatari's foul mood, Tala raised the mirror and did as he was instructed. He repeated the phrase 'bloody Mary' three times. Sadly, nothing happened and this disappointed him greatly. He lowered the mirror and then waved the mirror at his childhood companion – Kai.

"She must be busy-"

"You're not taking this seriously. That's why the witch hasn't appeared." Spencer folded his arms and skimmed his eyes over to Kai. "But I know someone who would be willing to complete the task."

"Give me that fucking mirror." Kai marched over to the Valkov and snatched it from him impatiently. "Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary-"

"Oh Christ, Satan is about to summon a witch." Bryan crossed his fingers and wriggled his eyebrows with excitement. "I bet he'll summon the saltiest one going. However, I just find it hilarious that even the witches wouldn't even spare five minutes to acknowledge Tala's calling."

Again, nothing happened and the group then broke out into a fit of laughter at Bryan's comment.

"Pft, well, there's that done." Tyson scratched the back of his neck and smiled. "Let's go back to the tent and-"

Tyson's little speech came to an end when he turned on his heel to be greeted by a pair of breasts.

"Holy shit!" Ian's little screech caught everyone's attention. They all glanced their heads into the direction in which Ian was pointing. "Tyson's got his head stuck between the witches tits! Hahahahaha!"

"Fuuuuck." Bryan's eyes lit up. He was impressed at the sight. "I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't jealous of you right now Tyson. She's a hottie."

Shaken up by what his friends were shouting, Tyson's heart sank into the pit of his stomach and he cautiously raised his head to gaze up at the young woman. She had soft blue eyes with golden locks flowing effortlessly over her pale complexion.

'Wow, she is pretty. But what the hell is she going to do to me!?'~

"Uh, sorry." The champion apologised whilst flinching as he backed away. "I erm, didn't know that you were stood behind me."

"I would let her give me aids-"

"I knew you were going to say that." Tala fired at Bryan. "You are disgusting."

"Guys! Check out her hands." Ian announced, "I bet she has shared a bath with my girlfriend. That woman loves her water at scolding heat."

"Can we focus." Spencer reminded everyone about the awkward elephant that was new to the scene. "I don't think it's polite to speak about someone whilst they're standing right in front of you."

"You!" The woman spoke in a frosty tone and pointed her scolded hand towards Kai, "As you have summoned me, you shall assist me with murdering my husband! The man who betrayed me."

"Go on Kai, bury the bastard alive." Bryan encouraged with tears of joy flowing down his cheeks. "Wow, I think he has a new fangirl."

Stunned by the sight, Kai dropped the mirror and gaped. He didn't care about the fact that the mirror had just smashed.

"Listen, witch, I don't know how old you are. But I don't think your husband is alive anymore." Before Kai could finish his explanation to worm himself out of this situation, the witch then shattered along with the mirror. "Uh?"

"Damn, she could have at least shown us what she could do before she ditched us." Ian closed his eyes, "Oh well, we summon a witch, lets go home."

"I bet her husband grassed her up for being a witch." Bryan stated, "What a dick. Anyway, Tyson, what did her tits feel like?"

"You cannot be serious. I'm not going to tell you anything like that because she might come back and murder me!" Tyson's muscles defensively tensed, "But I did notice that she didn't have a heartbeat and she was wearing a moon necklace around her neck."

"Maybe she has a connection with the moon." Ian stated the obvious. "I wonder if she'll appear again on the next fullmoon." He then grinned and shot Kai a devious grin. "You might have found yourself a new stalker Kai because you summoned her."

"I doubt it." The dual haired male pardoned that thought and placed his hands into his pockets. "But if she did, I would send her straight into your direction. I'd tell her that you're related to her ex-husband."

"Send her my way Kai, I'll pop my gun into her face-"

"I've had enough for one night." Tala rubbed his forehead to ease his stress lines. "Bryan, I put your gun into the firepit to keep us warm."

* * *

 **A/N: I know this chapter is a little short, but I really wanted to conclude it because I have already written the next chapter to this fic. It's going to be a spin-off, and I just can't wait to show you the material because as I was writing it at work, I was howling with laughter. Stay tuned - Granger~**


	5. Animals - Final

**.The Poor Men Save Endangered Animals.  
Spin-Off**

"Okay, today we will be on the look out for snare traps. They are scattered across the wilderness and it's our job to find as many as possible." The director explained to the bladers, whom were standing before him in their Indiana Jones outfits. "We want to raise as much money as possible to help these poor animals."

"Snare traps? What are they? And what does it do?"

"Let me show you." Tala smirked devilishly and snatched the contraption from Bryan's hands, "Give me your leg-"

"Tyson, do not give him your leg." Interrupted Kai. He huffed impatiently and placed his hands into his pockets to resist the urge to smack the red headed Russian around the head. "It's a device which is used to capture elephants by the leg, as the elephant panics, the wire tightens around its leg until it hits the bone."

"Oh man. What a way to go." Tears then began to form in Tyson's eyes, "Well, lets go and find these barbaric traps so we can save the elephants!"

"Hey, if we see any poachers on the way, can you please turn that camera off?" Bryan asked as he turned to face the crew behind him, "Because I can't promise that I will be on my 'bestest' behaviour."

The camera men then stiffened at his comment, but neither of them refused to decline.

After Tala had rolled his eyes at Kai, he handed the snare trap back to the crew. "I'm sick of this sun. I am a wolf, not a fucking lion." He grumbled to himself as he approached Spencer, Tala held out his hand to him. "I need some suncream, open your fanny and give me some." He obviously wanted to go back home to mother Russia.

"Uh-" Spencer's face dropped pale, "Tala, suncream doesn't come from vaginas. Plus, do you really need me to remind you of what gender I am?"

Bryan then howled with laughter. He was so amused and unsteady that Bryan had to lean against a tree to prevent himself from collapsing onto the floor. "Oh my Takao Aoki [God]. That's got to the funniest shit that I have ever heard." He praised Spencer for his response.

Tala's face was now redder than his hair, but that didn't stop him from demanding some sun protection. "Fuck you. You know what I meant!" He corrected and wriggled his fingers impatiently.

"Okay, hold on." The 'mother' of the team then opened his front pouch to pull out a bottle, "Here, it's the strongest factor going, so you shouldn't feel the suns wrath too much."

Naturally, Tala snatched the item and then drowned himself in the product, mainly to hide his humiliation.

"You should have told him that he can find some suncream inside a womans fanny. Tala would soon lose his virginity for that cause." Bryan took a few deep breaths and wiped the tears of joy from his eyes, "I am never letting the pale fucker live this one down."

"Piss off!" Tala cursed, "I am so done with this."

Even Kai had both of his hands cupped over his face to hide his laughter. _'Tala has never been very productive in the heat.'_ He concluded to himself.

"Aw, even Kai is laughing." Tyson was in stitches, "Now that sight is more rare than most of the animals that we are about to see."

"And you just killed it." Ian nodded his head in disappointment, "Leave the animals alone Tyson. They're suffering enough."

"Yea Tyson, that was a dick move." A member of the camera crew pointed out, "You're damn lucky that we didn't catch you on camera saying that phrase because your career would be RUINED!"

"Oh get a grip, you moron. The only thing that will be killing his career, is me." Kai soon lowered his hands to point his finger in the camera mans face. "And Tyson, for fuck sake, when are you going to learn to think before you speak?"

"But Kai!" Groaned Tyson, "I didn't mean it like that, and you know it!"

Tala was now hiding behind Spencer because he was giggling away. He was almost undiscovered, until he took a deep breath to calm himself down, instead of breathing through his mouth like he usually did, Tala inhaled through his nose and let out a loud snort.

"Fuck!" He stamped his foot into the ground in temper when everyone started to laugh at him once again. "Shut up!"

It took everyone almost an entire hour for them to pull themselves together so they could finally begin their journey through the African wilderness. Kai and Tyson led the way, meanwhile the Blitzkrieg Boys slacked because they were rotating the task of carrying the burden – Tala.

"Fuck heat, fuck pay cheques, and fuck you all."

"Will you just die quietly back there." Ian snarled over his shoulder, "We are all hot!"

"And it is key to remember just why we are all doing this." Spencer pointed out to lighten the mood, "We are raising awareness to everyone who is sat on their arse at home."

"Pft, I am only doing this for the elephants." Tala stated sulkishly, he was so exhausted. But grateful to know that Bryan and Spencer were willing to carry him. Right now, he was resting on Bryan. "If we don't raise at least a million for this, I will personally mug Kai for the money."

"Is that the heat talking, or is it you?" Kai warned firmly, "Because I am not afraid to throw the wolf to a lion."

Bryan licked his lips and held in his laugh.

"You must be feeling quite gullible if you think that I am joking-"

"Tala, hush." Spencer stepped in and fanned the Valkov with a fan that he'd pulled out of his crotch bag. "Kai has a fire phoenix for a bitbeast, it would be very unwise to provoke him."

The captain then lit up and squirmed free from his teammates back. "Stand back guys, I am going to save my skin before I defrost." He lifelessly prepared his launcher and aimed it into the wilderness.

"I feel like we should be stopping him." Tyson blinked, "I mean, won't the coldness upset the animals?"

"Just a bit." Ian tilted his head, "But I think the heatstroke is going to Tala's fragile head."

Before Tala could pull on his chord to launch his Wolborg, a blue blade knocked the items from Tala's weak hands.

"KAI!" Groaned Tala. "I am withdrawing from the snow!"

"Shut up or go home." Kai instructed firmly, "You're starting to irritate me Valkov."

"Oh Kai, you have irritated me all my life! You self centred little bitch!"

"Wow, Tala's really going all out." Tyson slapped his forehead, "But Tala will be the next endangered animal if he doesn't shut up."

Spencer then raised an eyebrow at Tyson, "That was well thought out for you." He complimented in a confused tone.

"Ha, thanks Spencer." Tyson winked, "I do pay attention sometimes. Now, what animals do snare traps catch again?"

An oversized sweatdrop formed in the corner of Spencer's forehead and he rolled his eyes.

"Elephants!" Ian distracted the group and pointed towards the herd of mammals. "Jeez, they're bigger than what I expected."

Bryan gazed down to his teammate and sniggered to himself. "Everything must look bigger to you. I mean come Ian, your tiny penis would even look bigger in those small hands of yours-" He stopped himself when Tyson placed a hand onto Bryan's shoulder.

An eyebrow raised on Bryan's forehead and he turned his head to face Tyson, "You must be feeling brave." He muttered

"I can't believe that someone would hurt such a beautiful creature-"

"That's what people will be saying about Tala if he doesn't leave Kai alone." A member of the camera crew gulped at the sight of Kai's Dranzer heating up. The Hiwatari needed distracting, and fast. "Mr Hiwatari, sir, would you like to remove that Snare trap from the tree over there?"

By this point, Tala had collapsed down onto the floor. He'd finally overheated, but Bryan was bold enough to pick up his friend and hydrate him with the last of his water that he'd been saving in his bottle.

Kai on the otherhand accepted the distraction. He raised his hand up into the air to catch his blade, and then strolled over to the tree in sight to catch a closer glimpse at the evil contraption. He pulled out a blade from his pocket and tore it through the thin wire, even though it was still in tact, Kai held it up infront of the camera.

'Even Boris wasn't this cunning with his contraptions.' Spencer thought to himself, 'Then again, I wouldn't put the idea past him.'

" **Whoever built these are cunts."**

"Kai!" Tyson had to lean on Bryan once again for support. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard. "You can't say that on the television, there are kids watching-"

"Say it again." Encouraged Ian, who was cackling away to himself. "Only this time, look into the camera."

"After our previous shows Tyson, I don't think any parent would let their child watch our programs anymore." Smirked Spencer, "Bryan almost got the entire team thrown out of a tournament once for cursing on live television."

"Yea, he was fined too." Ian added, "So he had to sell his motorbike to pay for it. But the funniest part was that, kids all over the world were pointing to Bryan and shouting - wanker! Bryan looked so proud."

Bryan shrugged and continued to nurse his captain, "I am going to take Tala to the nearest hospital. Don't you girls have too much fun without me now." He winked and picked up Tala to throw him over his shoulder again.

"We aren't going to let you do that without us." Ian followed Bryan back to the camera crews vehicle. "And no, I am not sitting in that baby car seat-"

Spencer too decided to tag along. "Wait for me."

Once the Blitzkrieg Boys had disappeared from the scene, Tyson approached Kai and stuck up his thumb to him. He could sense that Kai had been deeply affect by this trip, so he chose to stay and support his rival.

"Kai." He spoke and accepted the trap from his captains grip, "Lets keep going and save these animals. I'm right behind you buddy."

* * *

A/N: I know chapter is a little different to the previous entries, but I wanted to raise some awareness because I adore elephants with all my heart. When I read about this disgusting contraption online, I sobbed so much. However, I hope you all enjoyed the read at the same time because I would hate to raise awareness in a traumatic way. This is the last chapter to this fic - Granger~


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